**I originally posted this on January 2, 2012. I still think God has a sense of humor.
Written: July 17, 2011
“Experience: the most brutal of teachers. But you learn, my God, do you learn.” -C.S. Lewis
“What saves a man is to take a step. Then another step.” -C.S. Lewis
“We are what we believe we are.” -C.S. Lewis
I am a firm believer that my God has a sense of humor and He likes to use it on me, from time to time. Who am I kidding?! He likes to use it on me all the time and enjoys His view of me from above! HAHA! However, that’s alright because I know that when it really counts, the Big Man’s got my back. When He’s on your side, “whom shall you fear?” No one! This year has been tough, to say the least. I’m sure you all remember my story about the divorce and pap smear. (Yeah, I’m proud of that one and I’m sure most of my family is too…..lol) Well, let’s back up a little bit and I will tell you about what happened the first night my mom and I stayed in that trailer. It wasn’t one of my brighter moments.
June 11, 2011….also known as my 25th birthday and the day I moved out of the place that had come to be my home with my soon to be ex-husband. I know what you’re thinking! What a birthday gift, right? If I could only be so lucky every year! After a very long day of packing and moving my stuff into a storage building, an hour away, my mom and I moved our suitcases into a travel trailer that was in the front yard of my grandparents’ house. This was very sweet of my grandparents. They didn’t want me to have to stay the last few days before my divorce court date in the same house as my ex and this gave my mom and I some time to spend together before I packed up and headed to Louisiana (aka the place I ran to run away from my problems, but they followed me). To fully understand the hilarity of the next part of the story, I need to try to explain the state of mind I was in at this point. First off, I was mentally/physically/emotionally exhausted. I had been going non-stop and dealing with one thing after another since January. I wrapped up student teaching and graduated with my Bachelor’s degree while dealing with separation and divorce, not to mention my personal tug of war with the Lord (which by the way, He always wins). I hadn’t been sleeping a normal amount since before January when all the problems with my ex really heated up. In other words, let’s just say my brain wasn’t working at full capacity. We finally get settled around midnight and my mom and I are looking forward to a relaxing night of watching movies and sleeping in a comfy bed. My mom and I felt like it was our own little getaway. I’m sitting on the toilet (can’t believe I’m sharing this……) and I reach under the sink to grab some toilet paper and I see some “plastic wrapping,” which I pick up to investigate. It looked like the wrapping around some tube or bathroom cords thingy (technical terms, yeah, I don’t claim to be a plumber). As I pick it up, I realize it’s quite long. Then the realization of what it really was hit me. SNAKESKIN!! A snake had shed his very large skin in this very bathroom that I was now sitting in. Needless to say, I got out of that bathroom quickly. I showed my mom and she started freaking out. However, her being the braver one, at the moment, went back into the bathroom to see if she saw anything. Where was I? The newly 25-year-old me was exactly where any sane person would be….sitting on top of the dinner table in the trailer. (sorry, Granny! :-)) I was on the verge of having a complete panic attack or a nervous breakdown. One, I’ve never been a fan of snakes. Two, I think it was just the topping on the cake for how my last few months have been. Anyways, mom finds no snake. However, I still make her call my daddy, who by the way is almost 5 hours away, and ask him if he thinks we are safe. He explains that it probably crawled up into the sink area because it was warm and to shed its skin, but as soon as the trailer was moved and people started coming in and out he probably left. In other words, he believed it was long gone before mom and I stepped foot into the trailer. This calmed mom down. As for me….yeah, right?! What does he know? Does he speak “snake?” Needless to say, my mom and I spent our first night on the small couch in the living area of the trailer. What I am about to say, I am not proud of…..I made my mother put a towel under the bathroom door so that the snake couldn’t crawl out and get us in the middle of the night. Then I made her block the hallway with a dirty clothes bin so that, in case the towel didn’t hold up, the snake couldn’t crawl down the steps into the living area and eat us in the middle of the night. (Did I mention that this wasn’t one of my brighter moments?) So we spent our first night in the trailer with our legs propped up on chairs because the couch was too small to allow us both to lay out. I think my mother’s back is still hurting from that night.
Fast forward to June 22, 2011….I’m in Louisiana, which was supposed to be my fresh start. However, the good Lord didn’t want me there. He wanted me back in Texas. Still not sure why but I do feel like this is where I am supposed to be right now. God can be subtle, but He also believes in tough love. I guess I wasn’t picking up on His subtle hints to head back to Texas so He decided tough love would be the best way to go. Tough love in the form of a car accident in Alexandria, Louisiana.
I truly believe that everything happens for a reason, the good and the bad. God has a reason for everything and sometimes we can’t see what it is. We might be too close to the situation and we need to sit back for a bit or we may never know. However, I have faith that He has our best interests at heart and He has a plan for us all. At some point, things have to start looking up and I am just going to hold on and enjoy the ride.