Dear Little Sagan
**I originally wrote this in December of 2015. I was almost 5 months pregnant. Nikola was a little over 2 years old. I thought this was worth a share. 🙂
“The tie which links mother and child is of such pure and immaculate strength as to be never violated.” -Washington Irving
“If you have a mom, there is nowhere you are likely to go where a prayer has not already been.” -Robert Brault
“Mother love is the fuel that enables a normal human being to do the impossible.” -Marion C. Garretty
“Motherhood is a million little moments that God weaves together with grace, redemption, laughter, tears, and most of all, love.” -Lysa TerKeurst
“Your greatest contribution to the kingdom of God might not be something you do, but someone you raise.” -Andy Stanley
Dear Little Sagan Phoenix,
My sweet, sweet boy you are already so very loved. You have a mama, daddy, and big brother that are waiting to see you. We can’t wait to hold you in our arms and get a look at that adorable face. Nikola is so ready to meet you and he is so excited to be a big brother. I’ll even let you in on a little secret. Nikola was the first person I told when I found out I was pregnant with you. He just said, “baby.” 🙂
I am not as scared this time around. I know what to expect, but I do have worries that I won’t be able to give my full attention to both my boys. I pray both of you are able to feel the depth of my life for you both. I have read several books, blogs, and watched videos on “how to juggle two children.” But I still don’t feel like I am fully prepared. I worry that I won’t be able to give you the full, undivided attention that I was able to give your brother when he was a newborn. Will you feel as loved as he did? I hope you know that you will be a living, breathing piece of my heart. Everything I do, daily, is for you and your brother. I can’t wait to watch you boys grow together and become the best of friends.
Your big brother asked for you, even before your daddy and I decided to try for another little miracle. I can only imagine how my heart will swell watching the bond between the two of you grow, each and every day. Nikola talks to you and kisses my belly and likes to listen to music with you with the belly buds that your daddy bought for us.
I want to make the same promises to you that I made to your big brother. This life won’t always be kind, and it isn’t full of loving people. However, life is still full of miracles and beauty if you just look close enough. You are one of my miracles. Please, don’t let the world harden you or make you grow up too fast. You are only little once. I believe that you will do great things in your life and I can’t wait to watch you grow into a little man and become the man that God wants you to be. I promise to begin each day and end each day with a reminder of how much I love you. I promise you lots of hugs, kisses, and cuddles. I promise you bedtime stories. I will pray for you every single day of my life. I will kiss the bad dreams away.
I will be there for all the different phases in your life. I will let you learn and grow. I will love you unconditionally. You are my little boy.
I promise to give you my best and I will never give you any doubt.
Your daddy, mama, and brother are waiting for you, sweetheart, and we aren’t being very patient.