Marriage is a Daily Choice, Not a Fairy Tale

“My wife, Mary, and I have been married for forty-seven years, and not once have we had an argument serious enough to consider divorce; murder, yes, but divorce, never.” -Jack Benny

“To keep your marriage brimming; With love in the loving cup… Whenever you’re wrong admit it; Whenever you’re right, shut up.” -Ogden Nash

“A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers.” Robert Quillen

“A successful marriage is an edifice that must be rebuilt every day. ” -Andre Maurois

As a mother of two boys, I wonder what it would be like to have a girl. We plan on one more child, so the possibility of having a girl still rolls around in my head. I worry sometimes about the future of my children when I think about marriage, my marriage in particular and marriage in general. I find myself wondering if we are giving our children the wrong impression of marriage. I think the problem is real for both boys and girls, but I think it’s more prevalent for girls because of the fairy tale books and movies that girls tend to gravitate to. I remember when I first started dating, I had this idea of a fairy tale life with my future husband. I remember dreaming about my wedding day, but I never really stopped to think about after the wedding. Love conquers all? Right? Boy and Girl met, fell in love, got married, and it was happy ever after from there, right? Isn’t that how most fairy tales end? Keep On Reading!

So This is How it Feels…..

**I originally posted this on February 25, 2012. This is about my husband when we first started dating.

“Trust is the glue of life. It’s the most essential ingredient in effective communication. It’s the foundational principle that holds all relationships.” – Stephen R. Covey

“Let us be grateful to people who make us happy, they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.” – Marcel Proust

“The purpose of a relationship is not to have another who might complete you, but to have another with whom you might share your completeness.” – Neale Donald Walsch

“You must first have a good relationship with yourself before you can have a good relationship with others. You have to feel worthwhile and acceptable in your own eyes. The more independent you are, the better you’ll be able to connect and relate with others.” – Gary Emery

Written: February 10, 2012

It’s amazing to look back and see how much has changed in a year. My life has made a gradual improvement since the divorce was finalized in June of last year. That is not to say that HUGE obstacles haven’t been thrown in my way, but I have been able to defeat them and keep moving forward. Improvement is always a good thing because it’s a sign of moving forward, not standing still or taking steps backward. I started seeing someone new at the beginning of this year. We’ll call him “B.”  🙂 I have to say that there is something about him that I have not seen in my ex-husband or any of the men I have dated. He challenges me. He makes me think. He pushes me to think about things that I normally wouldn’t. He has helped me to be more open. He hates drama and he does his best to keep negativity away from his life. No relationship is perfect and we do have to deal with his job, which currently keeps him away from me for 5 straight weeks, every 5 weeks. However, I believe he is worth it and for the most part it’s something that he enjoys and wants to be doing so that’s a part of him and I love who he is. He strives to be happy and to be a good person. He loves learning new things and he researches everything. He loves to read and discuss what he reads with me (and I am a HUGE bookworm so this is a big turn on for me). He is not the type of person to say something that he doesn’t mean. He has a passion for life and learning. He would do anything for the people he loves, especially his family and friends. At this point, all I can say is that it is nice to finally be in a relationship that I truly have faith and trust in. I trust him and I never doubt what he says. That’s a good feeling to have, especially after the last year that I have had. So this is what it feels like to be in a healthy relationship……… 🙂 I like it!

Dating: Not For The Faint at Heart

**I originally posted this on October 19, 2011. I find this so hilarious! I hated dating and I’m so glad that I don’t have to worry about that anymore.


Written August 23, 2011

“Dating is pressure and tension. What is a date, really, but a job interview that lasts all night?”  -Jerry Seinfeld

“After a while, you just want to be with the one that makes you laugh.”  -Mr. Big

“Watching your daughter being collected by her date feels like handing over a million dollar Stradivarius to a gorilla.”  -Jim Bishop

“When I was in high school, I got in trouble with my girlfriend’s dad. He said, ‘I want my daughter back by 8:15.’ I said, ‘the middle of August. Cool!’ ”  -Steven Wright

So dating? What fun? I have been out of the dating race for almost 8 years now. That happens when you meet the guy you are going to marry at 17 years old. You don’t get much dating experience and at the time you are happy with it because my goodness you have met the man you are going to spend the rest of your life with, right? WRONG! Now I kind of wish that I had more experience dating because I’m back in the dating pool and frankly I’m frightened! <!–more Keep On Reading!–>And let me just state for the record, “dating” in high school does nothing to prepare you for dating later in life.

So I take the usual first step. ( Or so I think it is. Really I am just making this up as I go along.) I go on a few dates with guys I already knew. You know the guys I knew but never gave a second thought to because I was married. Turns out I wasn’t missing much. Ugh! Very cute-very boring. Extremely attractive and by golly he knows so too……isn’t afraid to tell you all about how great he is.

Then you start going out with friends and family. You then meet guys, they ask for your number and you go on a few dates. However, those are some pretty crazy guys too. Oh let’s not forget about the guy that flirts with you an entire evening………then you realize he’s married and had just taken his ring off. The “promise I’ll call” guy. The “I really want a relationship” guy or my personal favorite the “oops I forgot my wallet” guy!

After a while, you find yourself wondering if there any decent guys left out there? Please tell me this gets better.