Marriage is a Daily Choice, Not a Fairy Tale

“My wife, Mary, and I have been married for forty-seven years, and not once have we had an argument serious enough to consider divorce; murder, yes, but divorce, never.” -Jack Benny

“To keep your marriage brimming; With love in the loving cup… Whenever you’re wrong admit it; Whenever you’re right, shut up.” -Ogden Nash

“A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers.” Robert Quillen

“A successful marriage is an edifice that must be rebuilt every day. ” -Andre Maurois

As a mother of two boys, I wonder what it would be like to have a girl. We plan on one more child, so the possibility of having a girl still rolls around in my head. I worry sometimes about the future of my children when I think about marriage, my marriage in particular and marriage in general. I find myself wondering if we are giving our children the wrong impression of marriage. I think the problem is real for both boys and girls, but I think it’s more prevalent for girls because of the fairy tale books and movies that girls tend to gravitate to. I remember when I first started dating, I had this idea of a fairy tale life with my future husband. I remember dreaming about my wedding day, but I never really stopped to think about after the wedding. Love conquers all? Right? Boy and Girl met, fell in love, got married, and it was happy ever after from there, right? Isn’t that how most fairy tales end? Keep On Reading!


Living in Constant Fear

**I originally posted this on January 6, 2012.

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Written: September 23, 2011

“Waiting for the other shoe to drop” means to await an event that is expected to happen, due to being causally linked to another event that has already been observed, according to the Urban Dictionary.

Fellow divorcees, did you feel like you were living in constant fear after your divorce? I feel like I have this constant dark cloud following me wherever I go. You always hear that a relationship is “50/50” and that “it takes two.” So what did I do? Where did I go wrong? Where did I fail? I keep digging and asking those questions but do I really want to know the answers. Do I really want to know exactly how much was my fault? I felt like I lost a part of who I was after the divorce and sometimes I find myself wondering if I will ever find that part of myself again. Who was I before I was married? And an even bigger question, do I want to be that person again? Keep On Reading!


Taking One Small Breakdown at a Time and Counting the Smiles

**I originally posted this on January 3, 2012.

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Written: July 14, 2011

“Change is never easy. You fight to hold on and you fight to let go.” -The Wonder Years

“I could hold on a little tighter, I know, but when you love someone you gotta let them go, I’m gonna smile cause I wanna make you happy, laugh so you can’t see me cry, I’m gonna let you go in style and even if it kills me, I’m gonna smile.” – Lonestar

“Your wrinkles either show that you’re nasty, cranky, and senile, or that you’re always smiling.” -Carlos Santana

It’s been one month today. Why have I not really cried since the divorce? I cried a good 2 or 3 cries previously, but not at all what I expected. Of course, I am not really sure what I expected. It’s not like they hand out a “how to” guide on divorce the day you get married. I , for one, know that I wouldn’t have taken it anyway because I was in LOOOOOOOOVVVVVVVVVVVEEEEEEEEEE! 🙂  Keep On Reading!


We Said the “D” Word, Now What?

**I originally posted this on October 21, 2011. These older posts about my divorce are not easy for me to re-visit, but I feel like they are worth sharing on this new blog. The divorce is a part of me and a part of what shaped me into the person I am today. I also started this blog to encourage people so I feel the need to share for people out there that might be going through what I went through.

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Written: March 6, 2011

“A divorce is like an amputation: you survive it, but there’s less of you.” -Margaret Atwood

“I hate failure and that divorce was a number One failure in my eyes. It was the worst period of my life. Neither Desi nor I have been the same since, physically or mentally.” -Lucille Ball

“When two people decide to get a divorce, it isn’t a sign that they ‘don’t understand’ one another, but a sign that they have, at last, begun to.” -Helen Rowland

“Divorce is an embarrassing public admission of defeat.” -Tracy Letts

“Divorce is one of the most stressful life events anyone goes through. Only the loss of a loved one and moving are even in its class, difficulty-wise–and divorcing generally involves both of those as well. Even when you are the one initiating the divorce, the enormous changes that result are bound to throw you off and leave you feeling, at the very least, a bit lost.” -Emily Doskow

According to Merriam-Webster, divorce is the action or an instance of dissolving a marriage and it’s first known use was during the 14th century. When you look at it that way it makes divorce sound so cut and dry…..almost simple. (added October 20, 2011) Keep On Reading!